New Years' Resolutions

Happy 2012! There are many ways to approach the question of New Years Resolutions, and I think I have dabbled in most--setting ten million very specific unrealistic resolutions that don't actually reflect my true priorities, setting NO resolutions because what's the point, setting one or two words/themes for the year....

This year I'm going with a handful of (relatively) concrete resolutions and a few additional bonus goals--the New Years' equivalent of extra credit, if you will. I've thought about these a lot, and the concrete goals are daily/near daily habits I think I can realistically DO, even on crazy weeks (such as THIS one, in which I'm working nights, sleeping little, and tottering on the edge of feeling like crap vs feeling great all the time due to a poor inability to alter my circadian rhythm, etc etc etc....). They're also resolutions which I think are fairly "evidence-based", so to speak, and tailored to both relieve stress/anxiety and to achieve maximal return on investment of time and energy.

So, without further ado:

2012 Resolutions:

1. Spend >15 minutes outside most days with the kids. I think this is right up there with having family dinner on the list of really great habits. And since we now live in a town where apparently daffodils are brave enough to poke their heads out in early January, I think I'm brave enough to poke my head out most days as well.
2. Run 30 minutes at least 3 times a week. 5-6 times a week would probably be better, but I wouldn't actually do it. This I think I can do. There is a tremendous amount of evidence as well that regular exercise makes a huge difference in preventing everything from depression and fatigue in the short run to increased cardiovascular morbidity and mortality in the long run. So that's the goal. I figure I should probably practice what I preach in clinic.
3. Be patient and forgiving of myself and others. Not my forte historically, but I can do this.
4. Read up to date, prep questions, or another basic medical resource for at least 30 minutes a work-day. This one I'm probably already doing, so much of the point here is to give myself a minimum amount of reading to be *satisfied* with. So if I read for 30 minutes, I won't get after myself thinking "I should read more". I am convinced this feeling of always thinking I should be doing MORE is one of the most toxic lines of thought I slip into in my daily life, and I'm really trying to shed it at this point. Again, see number 3 above. I'm doing a lot of things right. So are other people. The more time passes, the more I'm convinced maybe I DON'T need to be doing more of everything. I've got some things I do as a parent almost every day, and some things I do rarely. Same with work. And this is where I think having a few concrete goals can be useful, because it opens up some space to feel happy and satisfied without feeling the need to do more. I *could* feel guilty all the time because as a resident I work a lot and don't spend as much time with my kids as many. OR, I could feel great if I stick to a few consistent habits most days (my list: read to the kids most days, spend time playing outside most days per resolution #1 above, make dinner and eat together as a family most days, practice the piano with Naomi most days....you get the idea).

One of my favorite reads recently is a book by Peter Reynolds (one of my favorite children's authors) called "So Few Of Me". The book is about a very busy kid named Leo, who feels so inadequate at getting everything done that he'd like himself to do each day that he feels the need to actually create more replications of himself. Of course the more Leo's there are, the more work Leo finds for said Leo's to do. He works himself into a frenzy of anxiety over DOING DOING DOING until he finally collapses with exhaustion and has....a sweet dream. The other Leo's reprimand him at first, but as he has the epiphany that perhaps he'd be ok to just do less...and do his best, the other Leos all disappear. And we are left with "just me, just one, with time to dream".

How beautiful. So that's the goal beneath the goals, the motivation so to speak.

Can I do it as an intern with two small (ok, ok, BIG) kids? I think so.

In fact, I am not going to actually post my bonus goals for the year, because if I do them, great, but if I don't (and they are not many in number, or difficult in nature....one is simply to keep my car from becoming a hazardous war zone without space for at least one other adult to sit without jamming their knees in their eyes; another is to consider blogging more frequently than, oh, every 6 months or so)....no biggie. I'm not pulling out the extra Leo's, so to speak. 2012 will be a year to relax and enjoy, and maybe give myself (and others) a few pats on the back.

Just me, just one, with time to dream....